if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
There r osticjed everywhere
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
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