Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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