I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
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