I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Randomize
