I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
