I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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