Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
