So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
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