hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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