why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
