I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
