That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
