Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
