You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
