then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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