We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
