Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Randomize
