brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Acid is not a monday night drug
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Randomize
