I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
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