Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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