Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
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