I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
