absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
my shit smells like andre
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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