I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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