This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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