I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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