Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
it glows. i had to have it.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
