If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
