Where are you?
In a non slutty way
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
