I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
