I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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