My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Randomize
