I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
