It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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