Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
