I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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