is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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