You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
