Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
We are all done wearing pants today
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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