U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
