Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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