why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
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