It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
