I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
