I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
