You made me cry and you don't even care
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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