I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
