It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
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