i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
