Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Randomize
